


Slice of Pie

by TheVagabondBoy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, F/M, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 04:00:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5613205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVagabondBoy/pseuds/TheVagabondBoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean was okay with everything. He would go away, and the world would stay largely unchanged.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slice of Pie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [svgar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/svgar/gifts).



> Prompt:  
> Dean's a dick who almost dies, Cas saves him, and they fall in love.

Today was the day.

 

It was time.

 

The air was warm, but the heat was stifled by a cool breeze. Perfect summer weather, in Deans opinion. Not too hot, not too cold, and clear skies as far as the eye could see.

 

He was almost sad to ruin such a perfect day, but he had put it off for long enough. His time had come.

 

It had been in the works for a while now, a few months. Before that, it had only crossed his mind when he was at his lowest of low points. These days, every day was a new low.

 

Dean had quit his job. He had packed up most of his things. Baby was parked in Bobby’s garage. There wouldn’t be much left to take care of after he was gone.

 

All Sam would have to do was sell off a few things and leave the rest at the dump.

 

Who was he kidding? Sam was too busy with his new firm, and his fiancé and with the baby on the way. There was no room for Dean in his life anymore. Dean wasn’t mad, though. Sam was all grown up, in the start-up of making his own family. There just wasn’t a place for Dean in it, and that was okay.

 

Dean was okay with everything. He would go away, and the world would stay largely unchanged.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

"Welcome to the Worthington Hotel, Mr. Ulrich." The receptionist said as she handed Dean a keycard. "Enjoy your stay."

 

Dean smiled politely, accepting the card. "Thanks, miss." He said.

 

He picked up his half-packed duffle and headed for the elevator. There were a few people joining him there, but they quickly parted ways again as the elevator reached their respective floors. Dean split from the group when they reached the tenth floor, nodding politely at the people who cleared the path for him.

 

Room 906.

 

Dean unlocked the door. He stepped inside, switching on the lights. The room was a little more fancy than he was used to, but he supposed it would do well enough under the circumstances.

 

He took a shower; he shaved, trimmed his hair, and dressed in his best, and only, suit. The tie felt awkward around his neck. He hadn’t worn the whole get up since Sam and Jess' graduation party.

 

His last meal consisted of an over-priced steak and fries, with some fancy imported beer to go with it. Since it was his last day, Dean thought he deserved a nice treat.

 

Go out in style, right?

 

As the clock approached noon, Dean opened the window. He had his note in the inside pocket of the suit-jacket, written and revised the night before. The time was come. Dean climbed out onto the thin ledge there, outside his window.

 

There wasn’t much room. The wind was quite soft, even so far up. It would be a nice way to go.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Dammit.

 

Cas just wanted a cigarette. He had promised himself he would quit, and he had. He just…needed to cheat a little. Just one, then he was finished forever.

 

No, he had to be strong! One cigarette and he would fall right back to it.

 

He just needed some air. Cas just needed to clear his head. He opened his window and stuck his head out.

 

Yeah, that was the stuff!

 

Cas opened his eyes, looking around. He almost jumped out of his skin when he spotted a man standing on the ledge by his window.

 

Cas closed his window again as he pulled out his phone. He didn’t want the man to hear the call. If he did, he may decide to act.

 

"911, what is your emergency?"

 

"My names Castiel Novak! I’m at the Worthington Hotel, downtown LA, d’you know it?!" Cas asked, pacing back and forth quickly in his room.

 

"Yes, sir. Please stay calm. Is there an emergency, sir?"

 

"Yeah, I’m on the tenth floor and I looked out the window and there’s a guy on the fucking ledge!" Cas shouted at the woman, annoyed by her calm.

 

How could she be that calm?!

 

"I think he’s gonna jump!"

 

"Okay, sir, please stay calm. I have alerted the police and the fire department. They’ll be there in a minute. Can you tell me anything more about your situation?"

 

"Th-the guy, he’s, I don’t know, maybe early thirties? He’s, uh, he’s in a suit. Caucasian. Blonde. His rooms next to mine, I think."

 

"Thank you, sir. What is your room number?"

 

Cas didn’t have time for this! That man was about to jump, dammit! Cas threw his phone aside and ran back to his window, opening it as quickly as he could.

 

"Hey! Hey, wait!" He called at the man. "Don’t do it!"

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

It was so peaceful out there on the ledge. Despite being in the middle of the city, it was quiet. Dean could finally think!

 

He was pressed up against the wall. By now, he was just enjoying the wind in his short hair and the sun on his face.

 

"Hey! Hey, wait!" Someone shouted suddenly. "Don’t do it!"

 

Dean heart skipped a beat.

 

"Jesus Christ!" Dean hissed under his breath.

 

"Hey! Don’t jump!"

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Dean found the voice, and it belonged to a stranger who was poking his head out another window.

 

"Who the hell’re you?!" Dean said, hugging the wall.

 

Cas smiled softly. "I’m Cas." He said. "What’s your name?"

 

"I-I’m Dean." The blonde said.

 

No reason not to tell him. Dean would die soon anyway, so it didn’t really matter much.

 

"Why’re you out there?" Cas asked.

 

What was this dude? An idiot?

 

"Oh, y’know, enjoin the view." Dean said sarcastically. "What’s it look like I’m doin’?!"

 

Cas shrugged. "I know what you’re gonna do. I asked why." He clarified.

 

Dean stared at Cas.

 

It was a trick. It was just a trick! Cas just wanted to save him! What if Dean didn’t want to be saved?!

 

"None of your business!"

 

Cas didn’t seem fazed by the brusque response.

 

"I guess not." He said. "Don’t you have a family? Friends?"

 

Deans eyes fell closed, and his head fell back against the stone wall. He did have a family and friends, but they would all be just fine without him.

 

"They don’t need me!" Dean said.

 

"Yes, they do!" Cas insisted. "Of course they need you!"

 

Dean shook his head. "No! No one needs me! Everyone moved on without me!" He said.

 

He looked down at the world below when he heard sirens. People seemed to start noticing him, pointing up at him. In just moments the whole street was blocked off by police cars and fire trucks, and they had to put up blockades to keep people back.

 

Cas let out a shocked shout as the door to his room was kicked down, and a bunch of cops and firemen flooded into the tiny room. He tried to resist as they pulled him away from the window, but there were so many of them and they were all so strong and wouldn’t let him go!

 

"You’re Castiel Novak?" A cop asked him, motioning for him to be let go at last.

 

"Yeah, so?" Cas asked angrily.

 

"I’m Detective Victor Henriksen." The cop said.

 

"Good for you. Let me talk to him!" Cas argued, pointing back at the window.

 

"Mr. Novak, do you know this man?" Victor asked, obviously referring to Dean.

 

"No. Does it matter?" Cas asked. "He talked to me."

 

Victor shook his head. "I’m sorry, sir, I can’t let you talk to him. I’m a professional, I’ve done this a million times before." He assured, but Cas was far from trusting. "Please go with these officers. They’ll need to ask you a couple questions."

 

Cas was, of course, not going to willingly leave, but they didn’t give him much say on the matter. They grabbed his arms and all but dragged him out if his room.

 

Victor hurried over to the window, leaning out to get a good look at the situation.

 

"Hey there." Victor said.

 

Dean jolted, almost slipping, from surprise. He clung to the wall.

 

God, he was such a coward! He had planned this for weeks, but he still couldn’t do it! He couldn’t take that last step.

 

"My names Victor." The Detective said.

 

"First of all, do I look like I give a shit who the fuck you are?!" Dean said without even as much as sparing the man a glance. "Second, where’s Cas? Third, I ain’t talkin’ to no cops!"

 

"Cas," Victor said, following the mans lead on the name to avoid confusion. "-is with a few officers. They need to ask him some questions. Why don’t you wanna talk to a cop? Bad experiences?"

 

Dean scoffed at Victor but said nothing more. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, really, but if he had to do it, Cas would probably be the first choice. He just…he seemed to get it. Like, understand. Really understand.

 

Victor didn’t like it, but the decision was being made for him. He ordered his men to bring Cas back upstairs again.

 

"Cas is coming." He told Dean, who appeared mildly relieved by the news.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

"-and as you can see on page fourteen, paragraph two, section six, our client was not in fact in breach-" Sam stopped mid-sentence when there was a knock on the door.

 

Everyone around the conference table looked up as Alfie, Sam’s assistant, poked his head into the room.

 

"I’m sorry to disturb." Alfie said quickly. "Mr. Winchester, Miss Moore is on line two for you. I asked her to leave a message, but she insists it’s a family emergency."

 

Sam nodded, looking at his boss. The old man, in turn, nodded as well. Sam picked up the conference room phone and called up line two.

 

"Sam!"

 

"Jess, are you okay?" He asked rapidly. "Is it time? Is the baby coming?"

 

"No, no, no, no! Sam, I’m fine." Jess replied. "It’s Dean. I was watching the news and there was a story about a guy standing on a ledge and they zoomed in and I swear to you, it’s Dean!"

 

Sam’s heart almost stopped.

 

"Jess, are you sure?"

 

"Yes, I’m sure! He’s wearing that suit he wore to our graduation! Same tie and everything! Sam, please! Trust me on this, it’s Dean!"

 

"What channel is it on?"

 

"All of them!"

 

Sam snatched up the remote for the TV, which hung on the wall, and turned it on. He flipped to the news channel as a safe bet.

 

The air got caught on something in his throat. Jess was right. The camera was focused on Dean, up high on a ledge.

 

"Jess, I’ll call you later." He said and hung up before she could respond.

 

Everyone was focused on the TV by then.

 

"Sir, I gotta go." Sam said, ready to go down on his knees to beg. "That’s…that’s my brother. I need to…"

 

"Go." His boss said. "We can handle this without you."

 

"Thank you." Sam said quickly then ran out of the room.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

"Dean." Cas said as he came to the window again.

 

"Cas."

 

"Henriksen said you wanted to talk to me." Cas said.

 

Dean nodded jerkily. "Better you than a cop!" He said angrily, hoping the cops actually heard him.

 

Cas hummed. "Dean, why’re you out there?" He asked. "Don’t you have anything to live for? Anything at all? Something you haven’t done, or said?"

 

He shook his head.

 

"No. Nothing." Dean insisted. "There ain’t nothin’ for me out there!"

 

"Yes, there is!" Cas argued. "What’s your favorite food?"

 

Dean shrugged. "I don’t know. Burgers. Pizza. Pie. What does it matter?" He asked.

 

"Well, have you tried every burger in the world? Every pizza? Every pie?"

 

"No?"

 

"Then that’s something to live for!" Cas said. "You could be the first person to ever try every burger in the world!"

 

A low chuckle escaped Dean, something he had thought impossible.

 

"That’s impossible." He said.

 

"You won’t know that until you try." Cas said with a smile.

 

Dean looked at Cas. Cas looked back and it just felt like…Dean couldn’t say. He felt all warm on the inside and his stomach tingled.

 

"Come inside." Cas said, almost begging. "We can go down to the restaurant. We can try every pie on the menu if you want."

 

"How can you be this way?!" Dean shouted. "How can you just get it?! No one gets it! No one understands!"

 

"No one but me?" Cas added for him then watched Dean nod again. "Because I’ve tried it."

 

Deans eyes widened.

 

Cas pulled up the sleeves of his button-up and held out his hands to Dean. He was shocked to see the scars running across the mans wrists. There were so many of them, but they all looked old and healed. As if the last was made years ago.

 

"I was sixteen." Cas said. "I was depressed and it seemed like a way out. My brother Gabe came home early and he…he saved me. Don’t get me wrong, I still have to deal with it every day. Sometimes it feels like I should…try again, but then I focus on something else until it passes. Sometimes it takes days or weeks, sometimes just minutes."

 

Dean couldn’t…

 

Cas was this way too? He was fucked up in the head too? So…he wasn’t alone?

 

"Dean, it might feel like it," Cas continued, speaking so softly. "-but you’re not alone in this. I’m here now. And your family will be there too, and there are so many more people out there who care about you. Whether you see it or not."

 

Dean looked out over the city.

 

The people down below were holding their breaths for him. So many people were watching him.

 

Maybe…

 

Maybe it was true.

 

Maybe he wasn’t as alone as he had thought.

 

"Dean, please." Cas begged.

 

"Please come inside."

 

Dean looked back at him. "And what if I do? What happens then?" He asked.

 

Cas could just shrug. "I don’t know." He said. "But…we could start with that pie."

 

He nodded.

 

It sounded so…so nice. A slice of pie with Cas. So…casual. But maybe that was what he needed. Just to stop and sit down and have a slice of pie with Cas.

 

"I’m…I’ll come in."

 

A big smile filled Cas' face.

 

He held out his hand to Dean again, and Dean reached as far as he could. The blonde sidled along the ledge, slowly moving closer.

 

It was so close! Cas' hand was right there, just out of reach. He was almost there. Almost, almost, almost!

 

Deans heart skipped a beat again as he felt the ground under him wobble. The stone slab wiggled for a moment, Dean standing frozen on it, before it dislodged.

 

A terrified shriek unlike any other escaped Deans lips as he fell haplessly. The crowd screamed with him.

 

The world stood still.

 

Time didn’t move.

 

Everything was…

 

Quiet.

 

A hand grasped Deans wrist and he snapped back to reality. He grabbed onto the hand and wrist and sleeve and arm and anything he could reach!

 

"I got you!"

 

That was Cas' voice.

 

Dean looked up with wild eyes.

 

Cas had him.

 

"Help me! Help me please!" Dean yelled without thinking about what he was saying.

 

More people appeared in the window, Dean didn’t know them. They grabbed both Cas and Dean and held onto them tightly. Dean could hardly breathe as they dragged him through the window, and into safety.

 

They all tumbled onto the floor in a mess of limbs, but Dean couldn’t find it in himself to give a shit. He was safe. He was inside and off the ledge and just…safe.

 

Dean dug himself out from the pile, every breath shaking his body and his heart racing like wild horses.

 

Cas? Where was Cas?

 

There he was!

 

Dean couldn’t stop himself, and he didn’t really want to. He jumped at Cas and threw his arms around him. Dean was sure he had never in his life hugged anyone as tightly. Cas didn’t fight it, didn’t say a word. He hugged Dean back just as tight.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

"Dean!"

 

Sam set off in a sprint across the big, empty restaurant. He watched Dean rise from his seat and open his arms.

 

But Sam didn’t fuckin’ plan to hug him!

 

First thing he did?

 

Punch his dumbass big brother right in the jaw!

 

"What the hell were you thinking?! Why the hell would you do something like that?! You fucking idiot! Do you have any idea how worried I was? How worried Jess was? Do you have any idea what it would do to me if I lost you, ya idiot?!" Sam yelled at his older brother.

 

Dean just stood there and took it, not even making a sound about how much his jaw hurt.

 

Sam stopped to take a breath, but found he couldn’t keep shouting.

 

"Dean, you’re my brother, and I love ya, man, but you’re a fuckin idiot if you think that…stunt is any way to solve your damn problems." He said instead.

 

The older of the two nodded quickly.

 

"Yeah. I know." He said lowly.

 

He wasn’t expecting Sam to pull him into his arms and hug him.

 

"I couldn’t lose you too, Dean."

 

That was it. That did it. That was the last straw.

 

Dean couldn’t hold it back anymore. The tears broke out and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Cas watched from a distance. He sat quietly at their table and waited. Dean and his brother needed some moments to themselves, and it wasn’t Cas' place to intervene. After the events of the day, Dean really needed some reassurance from his family. As well as Cas may understand what Dean was going through, he still couldn’t comfort him like his brother could.

 

Cas remembered how much the support of his siblings had meant to him after his…attempt. Dean needed it just as much as Cas had back then.

 

Therefore, he happily waited.

 

It took them some minutes; they hugged for a long time, then had a hushed conversation that Cas didn’t even try to listen in on before Dean gestured towards the table. As the brothers came over, Cas rose from his seat and extend his hand to Sam. It was ignored, in favor of a warm embrace. Sam hugged him tightly, just for a few moments then held him at an arms length.

 

"I can’t ever thank you nearly enough!" Sam insisted. "I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Dean. Thank you. Thank you so much."

 

Cas smiled brightly. "You don’t need to thank me, Sam." He said as they all sat down around the table. "Dean was in a bad situation, one I am personally familiar with. I tried to show him what my brother showed me; that there are other options. That…that, isn’t the only choice."

 

Sam nodded in understanding. "Still…thank you." He said.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

They stood in the parking lot up the street from the hotel. Sam waited in the car, Cas and Dean stood outside.

 

Dean wanted to say something. He wanted to thank Cas, but he had already done that a million times. What was there left to say other than 'Goodbye'?

 

Cas wanted to do something too. He wanted to be there for Dean, knowing how hard living with depression was. He wanted desperately for Dean to remember that he wasn’t alone.

 

"So I guess this is-"

 

"I just wanted to say-"

 

Both stopped mid-sentence, realizing they were talking over one another.

 

"You go first." Dean said.

 

"No, no, no, you go." Cas replied.

 

"It’s fine, Cas." Dean insisted. "You start."

 

"Okay…" He said softly.

 

Cas cleared his throat nervously.

 

"I was wondering if…maybe you wanted, y’know…" He said, not quite sure what he wanted to say anymore. "Um. My number. If you want it."

 

Cas pulled the napkin he had written it on from his pocket and offered it to Dean.

 

"For…if you need someone to talk to." He continued hesitantly, voice even lower than before. "About anything."

 

Dean was surprised. He had wanted to ask Cas about maybe keeping touch, but decided against it. It would’ve been weird, wouldn’t it? Like a thanks-for-saving-my-life-I-guess-we’re-BFFs-now kind of thing? Dean didn’t even know him! It would’ve just been awkward!

 

Still, he found himself unable to refuse the offer.

 

"Yeah." He said, staring at the slightly crooked row of numbers. "Yeah, I think I’d like that."

 

He would like that a lot.


End file.
